I couldn’t sleep last night without taking a Ponstan because I just got my first period.. It continued until today, so I went to work at 10 and had to take another one before I left. It’s so torturing…

The insurance woman from Pak Sintu’s pace treated us lunch at Black Steer –Mal Ambassador. I really have no spirit to work at all. It’s only 2.30pm and it feels painful again. This morning my mom said why don’t I go to the doctor and have it checked. Well this means that I have to go to a gynecolog. Uuh.. now who’s going to take me there, people will think that I want to check my pregnancy! (^_^)

I have to come to work this Saturday to do the accounting with Pak Wahono. I wish I shouldn’t have to…

“HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS” (and now I really wanna go home….)

I’M EXHAUSTED!!! Asli capek banget… pengen nangis deh.. (T_T) So many things to do now, not just the accounting system but also the plan to change AMGI into a venture capital company and the set up of Pak Safrullah’s new company… I can’t sleep without thinking whether I’ve forgotten anything in IK’s schedule & mine! Not to mention this guilt of having to leave the youth ministry in church. I just can’t concentrate on many things… Hampir putus asa deh..

It’s mom & bro’s birthday. I just called my brother this morning & had a lunch with mom and the relatives at Mal Ambassador. I think I ate too much, my abs now felt so full, besides I just got my period today and you know how painful it is!

The plan to Singapore is still a mystery. No one tells me when are we going and for how long. All I know is that I can not take a leave more than 3 days. It’s my maximum, plus I don’t dare to go if I haven’t finished the accounting book of 2001.

Anyway, I don’t have many things to say today… I just need some sleep & rest……

I HAVE WANTED TO BE ALONE, I THOUGHT I COULD MAKE MYSELF FORGET YOU IN SILENCE AND IN SONG…
AND YET I REMEMBERED, FOR WHO COULD FORGET THE MEMORY OF THE ONCE LOVELY, THE ONCE HAPPY WORLD SUCH AS OURS?
--unknown--

VIVA BRAZIL!!!!

Busy but bored… I wanna go home early so I can finish watching Lavender and have more sleeps tonight..

“SUCCESS IS ALWAYS TEMPORARY. WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THE ONLY THING YOU’LL HAVE LEFT IS YOUR CHARACTER.”
-- (Vince Gill) --

Lagi seneng neeeehhh… (^3^) No special reason, lagi seneng aja… BECAUSE KOREA WON THE MATCH AGAINST ITALY LAST NIGHT!!!!! Horree…. Even though I’m not a soccer mania, at least I’m happy because there’s an asian representative in the World Cup Semi Final! Viva WON BIN!! (?_?)

I can’t help myself to send Seong Gyu Han (my Korean e-pal) an e-mail to congratulate him for the victory. Hey, I got a new e-pal from Taiwan! Mmm… is this fate or what..Ha..ha.. (maksa banget gak sih?) Actually he’s an Indonesian living Taiwan. From his 2nd mail, looks like he doesn’t have any plan to return to Indonesia. He’s a guy named Ciao Lie. Hope we could be good friends…

Adduh… makan siang Di Tata Ribs bikin kenyang… Emir & Nina even plan to celebrate my birthday at Hard Rock! Nuts! It’s still one month away… Eh, tapi ultah gue kali ini jatuh di hari Sabtu, seru juga kali ya…

“Got the time, got a chance, gonna make it / Got my hands on your heart, gonna take it / All I know, I can’t fight this flame / You could have a change of heart / If you would only change your mind / Cause I’m crazy about you , baby, time after time /
Without you, one night alone / Is like a year without you, baby / Do you have a heart of stone / Without you, can’t stop the hurt inside / When love and hate collide”
-- (Def Leppard) --

Aaaarrrrggghhh!!! How many days have I missed? I forgot… But it’s been some tough days for me, working with the accountant (finally, after like… 5 cancellation?) since last week. I went home at 7 last night, so I skipped the youth’s prayer. So much I haven’t understood about this finance thing… huh… but Pak Wahono said I’m a good learner, I understand quickly. I just hope it’s true… (“_”)
Sarah slept over last week, Friday & Saturday. We went to Tajur with Mom on Saturday, we both bought a Kipling backpack. I’m a grey one, he’s a navy one. It’s very big, I like it.

The plan to Singapore is changed. We’ll probably go in the 1st week of July and we may also be going to Kuala Lumpur first. And my passport is not expire! Yuuuhuuu!! V(^0^)V I’m going to have a great time!! (Hopefully)

Last Sunday night, Abam, Rere, Lia & I went to have dinner at Akoen. While waiting for the food Abam suddenly asked me what’s this Meteor Garden stuff all about because a promotor came to his place and asked his band o play for F4 next September. I couldn’t believe my ears!! He said he didn’t know anything about them so he didn’t think it’s that special. He’s nuts! I told him I won’t ask anything from him again for the rest of my life if only he could give me a chance for a picture with them! Ha…ha… (^0^)

Sarah fell in love with Won Bin after watching Endless Love last Saturday night. Well, he is handsome and it’s a good movie after all. Mom bought Friends, Winter Sonata & Hotelier at Kota yesterday. We watched 3 of 6 of Friends. It’s kinda funny & a good one too. Maybe we’ll finish it tonight. I’m in the middle of watching Lavender too, just finished 4 of 15 (still a long way to go, I know..)

IK just rushed home cause he heard his dad’s suffer from Demam Berdarah. He may have to take him to Singapore tonight. Maybe he’ll miss all the meetings with CDC these 3 days, he said he’ll contact me tonight whether he’s going or not. Means… I can not turn off my Cell until late. Hey, Amex just approved my Blue Card this afternoon.. padahal males banget punya banyak kartu… Dulu diniatin gak dapet, sekarang iseng2 malah diapprove… Gimana pula…

“GOD’S GIFT TO US IS WHO WE ARE AND OUR GIFT TO GOD IS WHO WE BECOME”

My aunt just called and asked me to prepare my passport.. We're going for my little cousins' school holiday to Singapore sometime next week (^_^) Finally, I get get away from Jakarta for some little time. Foolishly, I just realize that mine's expired since March (>_<) I guess I have to ask for a half day leave next Friday to renew it.

I've got my new computer with the CD writer installed yesterday. I've made a copy of "Meteor Rain" for Sarah, she'll sleep over next Friday night. We plan to spend the night watching Poor Prince, MG's 19th VCD and F4's Music Party VCD (again!!)..He..he.. I think we're going to have a great time. Then we'll go to Tajur-Bogor with Mom on Saturday, I need to buy a large black backpack. You know, my Reebok blackpack's a disaster now, I can't even zip it again. So I really really need a new one.

I'm having lunch in the office, I suddenly lost my appetite after IK called and said that there were 2 reservations under his name in AOI, so Buana's Directors were seated in one room while he & AH were in the other! I called the resto and they appologized, said that it's their mistake. Still, he already complained and won't change his opinion that I'm the one who screwed up!! ("-";)
I'm off!

"Don't trust to hold God's hand; let HIM hold yours. Let HIM do the holding and you the trusting." (Hammer William Webb-People)

Attn: This is yesterday's journal... I had a problem with my internet connection so I couldn't post it yesterday.. ("~")

IT’S MONDAY AGAIN!!!! (*sigh*) At least I had a wonderful weekend with Ette.. (Thanks, buddy!) Last Saturday I went to her campus to see this Japan Festival that she’s been bragging about (^_^) and indeed I found it enjoyable for me. I bought Sarah a Japanese magazine (they sold it cheap, 10K Rp for each), I watched Kendo demo, a band singing Japanese rock sings, and even met Agus, the guy from GPdI El Shaddai (he’s a 2nd year student of Japanese Literature). Aaah, to bad I can’t stay until the end cause I have to go to the youth’s service.

Last night I watched “Forever and Ever” and I cried over many beautiful scenes… It’s a good lesson in life. It made think that I have wasted so many precious moments in my life. I have been granted with a good life, health and enough money to enable me to enjoy this life of mine, but I sometimes I find myself complaining to God for things that didn’t go my way. How selfish I am. And there are millions of people who can not choose their way of life… who spend every second just to keep alive… And I’m the one who has been ungrateful. I know I still have to change by each day. I have to be a better person.

I’m in love with The Gospeller’s song “I Love You Baby”… Too bad the lyric’s not available in the cassette so I cannot sing it entirely (T_T) I really want to find their other albums too. And finally… I’m going to have a computer with a CD writer sometime this week, Yippy!!! And I just downloaded “Total Eclipse of The Heart” from the MP3 CD I bought last week. I’ve been searching for this song for ages…

At lunch time I went to Cinekom to get replacement for my 19th’s MG VCD. I had lunch at Pho Hoa Menteng then I went to the notary. I saw a photo studio next to the notary’s office, then I remembered that I have to make pictures for my passport. Aaaannnddd.. I suddenly realize that those e-pals had been asking for my picture and I don’t have any!! So I decided to make 2 pictures (torso) too. Dan saat itu gue sadar bahwa gue nggak bisa gaya!! Akhirnya gue cuma nyender dikit dan senyum, DONE!! Nggak tau deh jadinya ntar kayak gimana, pokoknya kalo norak langsung gue buang! (^_^)
Hoooorraaayyy… the meeting with the accountant tomorrow is canceled again! And can’t wait for tomorrow when they install my new computer (^3^).

“YOU MAY BE ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD, BUT YOU MAY ALSO BE THE WORLD TO ONE PERSON!”

My boss canceled his lunch interview with Jason Tedjasukmana this afternoon and asked me to do the phone call because he thought I might love to call a single-good looking guy.. (^_^) Anyway, he insisted on interviewing him today at any time convenient for him and called me twice to confirm the time… IK finally talked to him over the phone and he decided to come over.. He’s interviewing IK in his room now.. Good looking, but not my type.. So…”Sorry Pak, I’m not interested in him!”

Ette, we’re finally going to meet tonight… It’s all because of that stupid football match!! I actually already planned to go to KK’s place tonight ‘cuz we plan to go to Depok tomorrow.. but because of this stupid game, he got home early and I have to take the bus to get to this home.. No Thanks!!! I’m going to entertain myself tonight.

I had lunch at Mal Ambasador with Nina, and when I entered the music store to buy ‘Make A Wish’ for Ette, there on the table, Jerry’s original pictorial book, sold for Rp 175.000,-!! Oh Gosh, he’s so sexy!!! And I found a nice site on F4: www.onlyf4.com It has ringtones for all F4, Vic & MG Soundtrack’s songs, and many varieties of Wallpaper and Winamp skin… I haven’t got the chance to see the photo collections though, but I guess it won’t be much different from the others.

Foreign Exchange value starts to increase again. Mmmm, I hope it won’t be that high by the time I have enough money to buy some! Especially the HK$.. I really have to start saving up some dollars by now. And I want to start my Mandarin lesson soon too… Whew, aren’t I too greedy this time? Wanna do everything at one time? It’s just that I have come to a self-realization, that I’m not getting younger everyday and there are so many dreams that I haven’t made come true. I listed each one of them and I know that I could make at least half of it come true, if only I have the will. So now I have to do it while I’m still able to. I’m working on it. Wish me luck, will you…. m(_ _)m

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet, only through experience of trial and suffering, can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Etteeeeee….. my boss gave me his used Palm Pilot this morning!!! (^_^) Now I can get rid of the address book!! Jia Yu!! But he forgot to bring the software and charger, he said he’ll bring it tomorrow. Wah, kayaknya gue makin canggih aja neeehh… not to mention that he’s upgrading my computer too next week… Thank God, Thank God, Thank God…

There’s a probability that my meeting with the accountant will be cancelled again tomorrow. Actually, I prefer to start this thing asap, so I can arrange the right time to take the Mandarin lesson. I planned to take it on Saturday, but because of this accounting stuff it’s impossible. I may have to use some weekend to work in the office (T_T) uhuk..uhuk…

2 nights ago while sorting out old files at home, I found some of my writings since High School. He..he… Wanna read one? Ette, I made this when we were in High School!! (I was imagining what our high school farewell would be…)

FAREWELL

So hard to believe, how many time we’ve shared together
And day by day, we’re just getting closer to each other
So many things have come between us
And so many words that we have shared
So many songs we’ve sung all along
Oh, how fast the times have passed us by

See, how much we’ve changed
Can’t you tell from the lines of my face
That I’m gonna long for our times together
That I’m gonna miss your smiles forever
If I could only make one wish come true
I’ll pray that we’ll never be apart

But life goes on
And we’ve have to keep walking
To face the future and make it bright
Just remember to call my name whenever you’re in need
You know I’ll come running to where you are
Hey, the time has come to say goodbye
Don’t let a tear falling from your eyes
Just wave your hands
And say you’ll picture me in mind!

Yah, pada akhirnya perpisahan kita emang nggak terlalu mengharukan sih..he..he… I don’t even know where the rest of my classmates are anymore! Except for you Te, and Eka (when are we going to have lunch together again?), Sari, Rendra, Kiky (lagi di laut mane loe?) Funny, gue malah lagi pengen banget bikin reuni SD (you’re here again Ka!). Don’t you think it will be fun to meet people you used to fight back in Elementary School (Eka, gue jadi inget Didon nih!), and those who used to be your ‘kasti’ buddies…

I re-start watching MG again and label each episode with summary of the story, so I know which ‘sad’ ones I could skip next time I want to re-watch it (again!), I hate sad stories and endings! Aduh, jadi pingin ke Mangga Dua deh.. Kali2 ada gimmicknya F4 yang lucu2 yang ‘layak” (arti lain: masih pantes) untuk gue punya.. Norak banget ya! Asik kali ya kalo bisa nitip CD sama Rowan.. but he won’t be back until the next 2,5 months! Lammaaaa….

Eeehhh… ada yang tau nggak sih apa pertanyaan kuis di MG setiap Senin di Indosiar itu??? Gue mau ikutan undian ketemu F4 di Taiwan dari Sony Music nih.. (^o^)


“I’ve been singing love songs and lullabies, but there’s so much more no one’s ever heard before. Something’s telling me it must be you, all of my life.” (It Might Be You – Stephen Bishop)

It's too early to write anything, but I do want to write, so what the heck!! I didn't watch Forever and ever last night, instead I watched F4's Music Party VCD (again). Just wanna take a glimpse of Vic's crying & BT face (^_^) I couldn't sleep until about 1.30am... As the result, a little headache and sleepy eyes (_ _)zzZZ

I kept listening to Vic's album for the last one week. I love his voice, so soft... Especially in song #3, #4 & #7. (Anyone, have you listened to this one?) Oh, this craziness over F4 and stuff makes me feel like a High School kid again! Not to mention that you can't avoid seeing their faces EVERYWHERE you go, absolutely everywhere! Gosh, I mean just a month ago before I got sick I just read about them in an article or two but now suddenly they're all over me... You can hardly find a magazine without them inside or outside the cover! And what about K' Telly? I've known her since I was 12 years old, never have I seen her crazy about any celebrity that she even bought a magazine who covers Jerry as it's special issue!! They are a phenomenon.

Another subject.... K’ Refny and I are saving our money to go Hongkong!! Why Hongkong? SHOPPING!! That’s one reason, the others are because of her new business in clothing and because I haven’t taken a long leave for 4 years!!! C’mon, I really need this trip man! Anyone wants to join us??? We plan to go by the end of this year or whenever our money is enough.. Aaahhh, I’m so excited (^3^)

Oh no!! The fotocopy machine is broke again! And IK has a lot of presentation material to copy!! This is a nightmare… Gotta go now….

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference
But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart
How could I essay the intensity of my love
When silence speaks a more eloquent tone?
But, perhaps, you didn’t understand…

(Beyond Forgetting – author unkown)

I got Dave's picture!!! Oh I'm so happy... FYI, he;s my Aussie e-pal, about 50 years old and a very nice person. Gives me a lot of advice and ideas of what to do with my life.. (like what? (?_?))

Mom just finished watching The Poor Prince last night. She couldn't stop laughing everytime she remembers a scene or two from that movie!! I can't blame her though, the movie's hillarious and you can see Vic plays a totally different character from Hua Che Lei.. a bit more like the real him I guess. Whatever... the movie is worth watching..

Thank God I have no meeting or anything to do in church tonight so I can go straight home and watch "Forever and ever". Aaah... life is good!

"The Thunder and the rain, the way you say my name, after all the clouds go by the simple things remain. The sun, the moon, the stars, the beating of two hearts, how I love the simple things, the simple things just are" (Simple Things by Jim Brickman)

Hooray!!! Finally.... I have my own online jounal... Thanks Ette, thanks Okke... Huh, I felt so bored lately with all this accounting and legal stuff to take care of in the office (+_+) I NEED CHANGES!!! I'm reallly thinking of switching jobs. Mmmmh... maybe in a magazine or television area. Whadya think guys?

Guess I gotta go now, maybe tomorrow I'll have more time to write what's on my mind right now. So bored, so bored, so bored ( _ _

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning!"